MaMa Mia, it's Carbonara!!!!

LADIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS......and returds. Welcome welcome to Bryan's very own cooking blog, where he will share with you his recipes to his most famous cookings yet. Not too long ago did he say that he will never share his cooking recipes with others but due to the extensive boredom that this sad chef is facing right now and the fact that he is running out of ideas on what to write on, here's a once in a lifetime chance to get hold of something easy and delicious to make!!!

So, as you all know that the dude here has this extreme liking for italian cooking; due to it's extensive use for herbs and it's relatively healthy eating lifestyle (provided you minus the cheese and fat from their pizzas and lasagna). It also has a HUGE variety and styles of recipes that makes it as common is dhal in the Malaysian community. And without further ado, here a little something that everyone loves to eat. Recipe for today; Carbonara. Now frankly i'm not a fan of this style of pasta due to the addition of heavy cream that takes the meaning of "healthy" away from the food. But, as always i cater to the demands of the crowd and also because of the fact that i never eat my own cooking i guess this one is kind of an obligatory recipe. Right so anyway...let's get on with it.

For the ingredients, well well here the list for it:

Bacon (pork of beef)
Garlic
Onion
Button/oyster mushrooms (optional)
Boneless chicken breast (optional)
Heavy cream
Eggs
Parmeson cheese
Parsley
Cooked spaghetti/pasta of your choice
Salt, pepper and whatever seasoning that you might see fit to enchance the taste of the food

Right....also the environment, you need some italian opera music....you know, the one where there is a tenor that sings along some opera tunes to get that italian mood flowing. Also optional you could have an irritating cat that jumps onto the kitchen parlour and eats your bacon and licks your cream while leaving a mess behind. That's right folks....you were eating CAT SALIVA all this while. WHOHOO!!!!

Anyway to get things started, first you cook the pasta of your choice with some salt and about a tablespoon of olive oil. Strain and leave aside.

Chop about a clove of garlic and a whole large onion into small pieces. Then cut the bacon into small pieces too. Then cut off your penis as well. Eh wait....wrong shit. Hope you didn't do that. Lol anyway basically chop every damn thing in the ingredient list into small pieces except for the chicken and the eggs. For the cream....if you can chop the cream into small pieces....tell me. I'll call Ripley's Believe It Or Not and you and i can earn some good money together.

Ok moving on, to make the cream stock. Here's the good part. Beat about 4 eggs in a large bowl and then add the cream slowly while stirring. Mix it well until it becomes a smooth paste. How much cream? Use your cowsense. I'd say about 500ml of it would be enough. And it's really up to you honestly. If you want more cream in your pasta...add more. You want less....add less. Of course the eggs also go proportionally with the cream; the more cream, the more eggs and vice versa.

Right....now you are ready to cook. Heat up a big saucepan and melt some butter in. You can use cooking oil as well but butter makes the already rich taste of the carbonara....richer. Add in the onion first, fry until there's a good smell and then add the garlic. Fry for about 2 minutes or until there's a good smell and then add the chopped bacon. Fry until cooked and a little brown (god your kitchen never smelled this good). Then add the mushrooms inside and fry until the mushrooms are soft and they start exuding water. Then...carefully add in the cream sauce. IMMEDIATELY turn the damned fire to low and stir. If you dont, the cream will coagulate and you'll get a lumpy paste. Stir for about 30 seconds and then toss in the pasta. Mix it together and turn off the fire. Add salt to taste, pepper and some herbs for seasoning (i put some basil and garlic pepper inside) and parsley for garnishing.

Right....VIOLAAA!!! But there's still something missing. What about the chicken. Well...wash and dry. Heat up a separate pan with some oil. Put in the chicken and let it cook on one side. While the other side is cooking, add some salt, black pepper and some italian herbs on the uncooked side. Then flip over. Be sure to do it carefully so that the herbs do not fall off the meat. The idea is to let the meat cook with the herbs and allow the flavour to enter the meat itself. Once done, strain the oil and add with the pasta.

There you have it!!! A simple yet tasty dish that serves 4 which you pay RM20++ for in the restaurants. Cook this for someone special...and it's a good way to their hearts. Step one get dirty in the kitchen, step 2 get dirty at the dining table, and step 3, get dirty in the bedroom. Muaaaa HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!